Blood? No thanks.

As soon as I turned 17, I started giving blood. Annual school blood drives, church blood drives, work drives. The last time I gave was when I was interning at MetLife, summer of 1998. A few months later, I was no longer desirable. It was a few months later that I became, er, romantically involved with Clark.

Gay men who have ever been sexually active are not allowed to give blood, platelets, or marrow. We're lumped into the same category as those who have sold sex for money or drugs and people who share needles. I've been in a committed, monogamous relationship for over a decade. And I'm at an unreasonable risk for HIV/AIDS.

In response to the AIDS crisis of the 1980's the FDA banned any man who has had sex with another man since 1977 from giving blood. This 1985 provision argued that men who have sex with other men are at higher risk of contracting and transmitting HIV and hepatitis, posing a health risk to potential recipients. Thus, even with a needed rare blood type, gay men are prohibited from donating blood. What if a terminally ill patient is in need of a specific blood type and there is a gay man willing to be a donor? Due to the 1985 ban on gay blood donors, the patient in need would continue to wait for another suitable match, risking death. The patient is not informed if a gay donor has been found and does not have the opportunity to decide if they are willing to accept the "health risk". How archaic.

Tonight, I went with Jen to Long Island. A friend of ours has a cousin who is in very bad need of marrow. I'll spare the details because frankly, I don't know many of them. But this is a 15 year old kid who is in pretty bad shape. Jen and I went to a blood / marrow drive in Long Island, an hour each way, to register as marrow donors. Jen did, I didn't. I was willing to help, but not given the chance. I suspected that it might be the case, but I thought I'd try anyway. Sure, there's like a 1 in 100,000 chance that i would be a match, but I could help save somebody's life, if not him, then someone else. But I'm too much of an HIV risk.

Now, it presents me with a bit of a moral quandary. I can lie. I can tell them that I've never had sex with a man and give blood or register to donate marrow. I can help save lives. Or I can make a stink about, and make this rule more known. Even though it's clearly printed on the application forms, very few people realize this, that gay men cannot donate. I can make a stink and try and get people to rise up and get the rules changed. But that doesn't help people in the now. What did I do? I returned my application to the volunteers at the front desk and said that I didn't qualify. When asked why, I told why. They were disappointed.

Blood banks in other developed nations have realized that this is really not a wise thing to do, to limit the pool of donors. These regulations were quick to be put into place, but have been slow to be challenged, and will be even slower to be reversed. I wonder when the rules will change in the US and Canada.