You've got some nerve

Yesterday, a man walked into the Family Research Council’s Washington DC headquarters, and somehow ended up opening fire on the security guard.  For those not familiar with the FRC, their mission statement starts with “Family Research Council (FRC) champions marriage and family as the foundation of civilization, the seedbed of virtue, and the wellspring of society”.  (In other words, they’re one of many organizations who spend millions of dollars to make sure that my family and I don’t have rights to exist).  The shooting was a horrible event, and over 40 major LGBT organizations have denounced the actions as unacceptable.

But the religious right is using this opportunity to play the victim.  Brian Brown, the president of the National Organization for Marriage says about the shooting.  The Southern Poverty Law Center has labeled the Family Research Council, and many groups like it, as a hate group.  Says Mr. Brown:

"Everything points to the fact that this was politically motivated.  Groups like the Southern Poverty Law Center which has labeled the Family Research Council, which is a mainstream group, a hate group. That sort of talk… is totally irresponsible and unacceptable and I think this incident makes that clear."

I don’t know where to start with this.  I’ll be honest, but I don’t know exactly what criteria the SPLC uses to classify an organization as a “hate group”.   But I have to think that if the bulk of what you do is fight very hard to keep an entire class of people down, then you are a hate group in my book.  MarriageEqualityUSA tweeted it well:

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Some have demanded that we stop using the word "hate" to describe being called pedophiles/perverts/satanic/etc.

1. What word should apply?

2. If we stopped calling it hate, do you think they'd they stop calling us pedophiles/perverted/satanic/etc.?

3. If we stopped calling it hate, would they stop fighting to deny us equal rights in employment, housing, relationship recognition?

4. If we stopped calling it hate, would they stop saying that kidnapping our kids away from us is akin to rescuing people from slavery?

5. If we stopped calling it hate, would they stop bullying our kids to death, stop beating us up, stop tying us to fenceposts to die?

It's soul-wrenching to be told that the word "hate" is worse than the equality-denying humanity-denying words & deeds to which we apply it. I'd gladly never utter the word again, if it meant no gay person would ever again be abused or their rights denied because of who they are.

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Here we have an organization that has nothing but horrid things to say about gay people:

“Counterfeit marriages called "civil unions" pose a serious threat to the health of our culture

 “Homosexual behavior is a "death-style" that is sending young people to an early grave

“Young people who are sexually confused need the facts about homosexuality. They need to know that research shows they aren't `born gay,' that there is hope for a way out of the lifestyle, and that continuing in homosexuality presents serious health risks

"...one of the primary goals of the homosexual rights movement is to abolish all age of consent laws and to eventually recognize pedophiles as the 'prophets' of a new sexual order”

For decades, they’ve been deriding homosexuals; they’ve been spewing ugly, hateful, damaging falsehoods about us.  They’ve spurred on countless gay bashings, violence, murders, vandalism, and discrimination against gay people.  And when they are called what they are, these groups have got the nerve to stand up and say that to do so is irresponsible?  What do you know about taking responsibility for your thoughts, words and actions?  How many gay bashings have you denounced?  How many times have you thought about how the hurtful things you say might lead to hatred and violence against gays?  You’ve got some nerve.

I've got a family.  I’m married; I have a daughter and a son.  I love my family, just like straight people love their families.  All I want is for them to grow up safe, and protected against harm.  I want to raise my family and grow old with the person I love.  How is that different from anyone else?  How is that evil?  How can so many people object to that?  I’m fortunate.  I’ve got a lot of support, a lot of friends and family that love us.  I’ve really had no problems with people that I care about, only a few interactions with some old trolls I knew from high school.  But still, I read this garbage day in and day out, and it hurts me.  It really stings.  And every single time, I think of the people who don’t have it as good as I do – the ones whose parents have disowned them, who have been kicked out, who have lost friends.  The effect that this kind of talk has on people who are on shaky ground to begin with is terrifying.  It’s outrageous.  And I wish that straight allies would do more to denounce it.  Because it’s not just hate groups like NOM and AFA and FRC, it’s politicians, it’s radio personalities, it’s bloggers.  Let them know what you think.  If a politician says horrible things about gays, let them know that you disapprove.  Let them know what you think.  They are, after all, elected to represent you, let them know what they should be representing.  Vote against hatred and violence towards gays.  Towards anybody, actually.  Don’t think “oh, it doesn’t affect me, so I’m not going to say anything.”  It affects everybody.  It affects me, and as a friend, that means it affects you.